Since Noone is on LiveJournal anymore(they have all left to myspace) I will write as a I please.
As of the last 2 months or so..I have had like a thing where almsot everywhere I go.....im finally bein checked out by girls. Like at school a 23yr old and like a 21 yr old like to talk to me. at work some 25 yr old is trying to get me to go with her to the gym. When I go out to eat the hostes, the movie theater the girl that works at the lobby, at work and so on.
But I actally feel weird getting this attention. I dont feel like i deserve it nor want it for some reason. Its weird because usally im not trying to get someone to like me, im always myself, and yet the one person I want to notice me a bit more... is not 20 something. hell not even 18. shes just bearly gonna be 17. yet thats the only person im intrested in.
Where was all this attention a long time ago? I have not gotton this kind of looks from girls since like middle school.
SO At this time last year, I was being brought home from the most drunk I have ever been. I was so gone that I actually blacked out and was passout. I woke up the next morning not knowing what had happend, well I got home with no Shoes or anything.
The party was at Johns house, I didnt end up liking everyone thier because they all smoked or were preped up, so I went by myself and took 10 shots stragiht lined up of Cuervo and already had been drinkin rum/coke and green apple vodka.
It was the most embarrasing moment the next day hearin about how I passed out. Since than I have not drank like that nor want to again. It took me about 5 months to actually go back and have another drink and even know I just drink a few drinks and Im straight.
its been 1 year since I have stopped being a real drunk.
So this will actually be my last journal entery on lj, I have another journal now on LJ but its not intresting so its not that important anyway
but this is good.
I got a letter from the Editor In Chief of our newspaper, and said most likely hes going to get a bus from some people he knows from Drive Thru Records to take me to some of the California shows for Warped Tour! Id be the only one from the Coyote Express and I think someone from Unlv and other people will be on it. He was impressed by my thing and says he wants me to come back next year, im in a good mood about this.
im starting to really like writting(though i cant fuckin spell lol.)
So who the hell goes on LJ anymore since myspace came right? right.. so i will keep writting.
ummmmmm its not gonna be a long post but I think that even when I am wanting or ready to............ I dont think Id be able to go through with it....... I never thought about what my next relationship would be like, but after I just finshed writting in my other journal... i realized that I never put thought into it.....and I am more than likley going to aviod it at first because I never want to feel like I have in the past........so I know and have made it clear why I wont right now........but is the new stuff I figured out playing apart of me............yeah probably.......but i dont know...,,,,, i mean im only 19, i need to learn more about me.......so who ever it is............................well get the greatst Vince ever(and thats hard to imagine.lol.....ok enough of my self center part.........but also was being realistic too.)
I.Of course is my babies. If I go like 2 weeks without seeing them I go crazy. I cant not see them, I hate missing Ethan learn something or Natalia do something for the first time and Alexia's vocab progress.
2.The Gym-Ok this one would have been unexpected a while back but now its huge on me.How big? I spent 75$ on Creatine and Protien and 25 on my Fat Burning stuff, this week. Now If I dont go to the gyms for 2 days straight I go crazy and feel like shit. Its a drug. Its addicting.
I have gained confidence that only 2 people know that is something that I think was the only thing I was ever uncofterable with.Like I was paraniod about it. Now After realzing the fact that I am the way I am, I have no problem showering at the gym without my short and dont mind walking around like that. Even 4 months ago I would shower with my swimming trunks lol.
My reasons are simple yet contradicting.
why am i doing this? Because I was tried of looking at myself in the mirror. Hate having a bestfriend who is like 6 times the size of me yet we are the same height(but than again he is black and jock). I need to build confidence. and Because I got tired of having girls say that yeah Im a nice guy and good personality but Im not that good looking(but than again its not like i wanted a gf, i just hated that, that always happend) so Im gonna look as good as a the person I think I am and want to be.
and we all know the other one.
when am i not listing to music? seriousally? I mean i take music classes. I stay up all night listing to it, i write about it more than anyone I know, I talk about it to the point everyone around me hates it, I am addicted to drums and now guitar is my next target.
So i havent been home in forever. ======================================================================================================== Yesterday I went to the International Ska Circus. It was fucking cool. La Resistencia- is a fucking dope spanish ska band, They opned the show and that was the most energetic lead singer I have ever seen live. He was going fucking crazy like he I watched him the whole time he was that crazy.
Suburban Legends-the Nsync/BSB boy band off Ska lol, they are pretty damn good. Like I mean they have dance moves and steps for everysingle fucking song they play.
La Banda Skalavera- was fucking dope they were a spanish cumbia/merrenge group. it was crazy watching people dance to cumbias and shit.
VooDoo Glow Skulls-were fucking probably the best.
Skeletones,Fishbone,Pietasters were good also.
Toasters-were fucking cool, they are the ones who do the Kablam song! lol but other great songs to.
and Reel Big Fish-kicked ass. ==================================================================================
After that I went to Carmens casue Andy was by himself watching the 3 kids(the girls were sleepin, but ethan was up) i finally put ethan down for the count so that was cool and we watched "Selena"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This morning we got up, and i came and picked up my shirt for work and we went to church, yes i said church, somewhere i havent been to in a long time, but today marked 2 years that Mark (carmens x husband) died of lukimia. So that was kind sad. It sucked because not that many people remembered at all. Hell I think Carmen didnt remember either. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So now Im just getting ready for school, and I have found out that I am one damn good Skank.........er lol. Me and this Ska music have become closer